kau katakan dirimu bak setitik debu

tak tahukah kau......

di mataku
di hatiku
di jiwaku

kau bak berlian
yang bersinar indah

bahkan dalam gelap sekalipun

(memoar of Atiq)

Kau datang setelah jeda 6 tahun
membawa kasih
terbalut mimpi

indah dirimu semakin bersahaja
membuat senyum di bibirku merekah indah

namun...
bagai hembusan nafas
selayak kedipan mata
kau menghilang lagi
dalam senyap di pinggir rawa

tahukah kau....
diriku masih menanti di muka gerbang
hingga kau kembali
entah kapan.....

(memoar of Atiq Pramono)
24 November 2008

enjoy my normal life
follow the routine

hhmmmpphh.....

such a boring time...

where's the challenge goes?
where's the exciting moment evaporated?
will the adrenalin shake the soul again?

Geee....
I need to have some fun!
(21 Oct 2008)

time 2 move on

dulu aku mencintainya
hingga saat ini

tapi realita dan logika tlah menamparku
membangunkanku pada kenyataan
bahwa tak selamanya cintaku kan disambut dengan indah

it's time for me to move on
leaving all the past behind
and start to embrace the future

(letting you go from my mind and heart, Yudha)
02.10.2008

salahkah bila aku merindunya?

biarpun ku tahu dia tak pernah merinduku

hati ini tak dapat ku ingkari

betapa aku mencintainya

cinta ini terlalu indah untuk ku hapus

bahkan kala ia sakiti sukma ini

tak pernah ku bersitkan secarik benci untuknya

dalam balutan kasih tak terbatas

ku nanti hadirnya

tak pernah letih ku menanti

meskipun ku tahu ia tak kan pernah kembali

bodohkah aku?

atau ini lah cinta sejati itu?

pedih

namun begitu indah

(selalu mencintamu, Yudha Bramantio)

and the legend begin...

Do you believe in a legend?

At 8:15 A.M. August 6, 1945, the first atomic bomb ever to be dropped, exploded approximately 580 meters above the center of the city of Hiroshima, Japan.
In less time than it takes to blink your eyes, the city was reduced to rubble in the middle of a scorched plain. Countless unsuspecting and innocent lives were lost.
So enormous was this unprecedented tragedy that the destruction caused by natural disasters or conventional weapons paled beside it.

SADAKO Sasaki was only two years old when the first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. On that day, she was a mere two kilometers away from where the bomb exploded. Most of Sadako's neighbors died, but Sadako wasn't injured at all, or so it seemed. Up until the time Sadako was in the seventh grade (1955) she appeared to be a normal, happy young girl.

She ran and played with her friends at home and at school. She was a good student who excelled in Track. However, one day after an important relay race that she helped her team win, she felt extremely tired and dizzy. Fortunately, that day, the dizziness went away leaving Sadako to think that it was only the exertion from running the race that made her tired and dizzy. But that was not to be so. Soon after her first encounter with extreme fatigue and dizziness, she experienced more incidents of the same.

One day Sadako became so dizzy that she fell down and couldn’t get up. All of her school-mates informed the teacher who contacted her parents. Later Sadako’s parents took her to the Red Cross Hospital to see what was wrong with her.

Doctors performed many tests and discovered that Sadako had a kind of blood cancer called leukemia. Nobody could believe it. At that time, leukemia was called the “A-bomb disease”. Almost everyone who got this disease died, and Sadako was very scared. She wanted to go back to school, but she had to stay in the hospital.

One day, Sadako's best friend, Chizuko, came to visit her and brought with her some origami (folding paper). She told Sadako the legend of the crane.

It is Japanese legend that folding 1000 cranes (senzaburu) so pleases the gods that the folder is granted a wish. Sadako wished to get well. So, after hearing the legend, Sadako decided to fold 1,000 cranes.

Sadako's family worried about her a lot. They often came to visit her in hospital to talk to her and to help her fold cranes. After she folded 500 cranes she felt better and the doctors said she could go home for a short time, but by the end of the first week back home the dizziness and fatigue returned and she had to return to the hospital.

Sadako continued to fold cranes. Even though she was in great pain, she tried to be cheerful and hopeful. Not long afterwards, with her family standing by her bed, Sadako went to sleep peacefully, never to wake up again. She had folded a total of 644 paper cranes.

Sadako's story had a profound impact on her friends and classmates. They completed her thousand cranes and continued to raise money from school children all over Japan to build a statue to honor Sadako and all the children affected by the bomb.

Today, in Hiroshima's Peace Park, there is a statue of Sadako standing on top of a granite pedestal holding a golden crane in her outstretched arms. At its base a plaque reads:

This is our cry.

This is our prayer.

Peace in the world.

Every year, children from around the world fold cranes and send them to Hiroshima where they are placed around the statue. Because of Sadako, the paper crane has become an international symbol of peace.

(story taken from http://user1291600.sites.myregisteredsite.com/library/id49.html )

ku raih senjanya Jakarta

dalam senyum penuh lara

(missing you so much, Yudha)

Besok Belum Kiamat, Sayang....

hidup memang pilihan
namun terkadang ia datang tanpa dipilih terlebih dahulu
entah memilih atau terpilih
life must goes on

meskipun tertatih menahan sukma dalam raga
meskipun jerih menatap mata penuh curiga
meskipun letih mengurung harap dalam asa

sukmaku
sukmamu
sukmanya
sukma mereka
biarpun redup
namun harus tetap menjadi cahaya
untukku
untukmu
untuknya
untuk mereka

jadikan hidup ini menjadi indah
meskipun dalam lara

jangan biarkan jerih mencumbu asamu

bangkitlah dengan tegar hati
dan penuh senyuman

karena besok belum kiamat, sayang....

Senja hari ini begitu ranum
Jingga merambah langit
Menjelma menjadi lukisan lara
Awan bergumul dalam percakapan yang tak terbendung
Biru merasuk senja mencumbu jingga
Mentari menyelinap dalam gumpalan awan
Meneriakkan kegundahan dalam sinarnya yang menyilaukan

Masih di sini ku mencumbu senja
Bersama kepulan asap rokokku dan sepiring kentang goreng
Di basuh lemon tea yang menggetirkan jiwa
Mengiringi senja yang semakin lama semakin pudar
Hilang dalam balutan malam

Ku harap langit tak menangis esok hari
Agar dapat kucumbu lagi indahnya senja seperti hari ini

Ku ingin menjadi kekasih sang senja
Dapatkah?
Sedang ia selalu datang dan pergi
Laksana tarikan nafas yang terhempas

Ku ingin menjadi kekasih sang senja
Maukah?
Sedang ia selalu hening dalam keindahannya
Menjelma anggun dalam kelabunya

Senjaku….
Tahukah kau
Aku
Menginginkanmu
Teramat
Sangat

bawalah sukmaku dalam kilaunya engkau
hempaskan naifku dalam kelabunya engkau
koyakkan ego ini yang semakin membuncah
cumbuilah asa kecilku hingga klimaks menjemput
menyadarkan kita
dalam peluh jerih yang tak terbendung

berjalan kembali seorang diri
lunglai berpeluh lelah
muak akan acuhnya

terlalu manja rajukku pada Sang pemilik sukma
hingga dengan kasihNya
Ia koyakkan buah yang belum ranum
hanya
untuk
ku

hhhh....

betapa hina diriku

ku langkahkan kaki
menuju peron berikutnya

NEXT PLEASE....

katanya.....

katanya, kasih begitu tulus
katanya,kasih begitu damai

dalam pojok asa aku termangu
tergugu dalam ketakjuban
mengapa aku masih mengharapnya kala semua begitu jauh

sebesar apa tulusku?
sepanjang apa sabarku?
sedalam apa kasihku?

mampukah ku menanti?
mampukah ku mengerti?

dalam kegamangan
masih ku disini
terpaku
pada indahnya kasih

My prayer in my B'day

Tuhanku,
ku coba nikmati semua yang kau hidangkan di hadapanku dengan senyuman dan kearifan

karena hanya Kau yang mengetahui apa yang terbaik untukku

bahkan seringkali tangisku, jeritku, pedihku, adalah hal terbaik untuk jiwaku


Tuhanku,

satu pintaku,jangan Kau tinggalkan aku, kala ku menjadi bodoh

jangan Kau tutup pintuMu, kala ku berkelana ke dunia murka

kasihMu sangat ku rindukan,

dekapMu sangat ku harap


Tuhanku,
raihlah asaku
dan
ijinkan aku pulang


aku
ter
amat
letih
....

ku gelayutkan asaku dalam asamu,
mungkin terlalu tinggi kugantungkan
hingga hanya selarik bias yang tampak

masih di sini ku terpekur dalam sajadah basah
mengharap akal sehat masih menari
menghiba asa yang telah berserakan

aku letih....
aku ingin pulang
masih bolehkah?

kau selalu menari dalam benakku,

namamu selalu terucap meski tanpa ingin ku ujar,

jiwamu tlah menyentuh sukma kecil ini,

am I falling in love with you?

atau ini hanya sebatas "lollipop" yang akan habis dalam beberapa menit?

no one knows.....

just enjoy the day with smile and do the very best that I can do

Hmmph....
begitu sunyi
sepi
tak satupun kata yang terlontar dari indahnya kamu

sudah 20 menit jarum jam meninggalkan angka 1

apa yang terjadi, biarlah terjadi

tetap kusyukuri
indah dan buruknya dirimu

tanpa sesal

Katamu kau kirimkan senja berfigura jingga, jauh ke dalam rimba, di gelap mataku?

Bukan senja namanya kalau penuh penghinaan

Sudah cukup kau cabik aku dengan segala ucapanmu

pedih...perih...luka semakin menganga

Jingganya senja berselimut hangat nan lembut, bukan dengan sesakkan duri

aku mungkin bukan yang kau inginkan,

tapi aku tak akan pernah mengoyak harga diriku

aku

tak

butuh

senjamu

simpan saja senjamu

sendiri

.......

-no more game, Yudha. It's so damn hurt-

mommy always loves you, little angel

my sweet little angel, thanks for the charming prince that you gave me. He was so perfect in your drawing. With the rainbow house, just like a lollypop that you wish to have.

my cuttie angel, mommy won't cried if the gorgeous prince never come to our rainbow house. 'cause I've got the most perfect soul that God's giving me. I've got you, my dear.

You've changed into a great prince with your white horse and the sword to protect mommy from the witch.

You've became a wonderful beautiful princess to wipe mommy's tears, open your arms and gently hug mommy when the cloudy day came.

With your sweet smile, funny giggle, lazziness to woke up every morning, I feel complete already.

My beloved angel, mommy loves you more each day.

Senja hari ini tak sejingga kemarin
Ada awan hitam yang menemani tariannya
Sukmakupun tak sekokoh kemarin
Ada sebongkah cerita yang tlah hilang jiwanya
Ku berharap semoga mentari esok kan memberiku kekuatan
tuk berdiri dengan penuh keyakinan
dan hadapi terjalnya realita esok hari.
( letting you go, 20 January 2008)

Jinggaku datang mewarnai awan putih
Menawarkan kehangatan dalam pekatnya malam
Mendendangkan lullaby dalam taburan bintang
Salahkah aku bila terlena dalam nyanyiannya?
Bila ini hanyalah sebatas mimpi, biarkan aku tertidur lebih lama lagi
Agar kudapat merengkuhnya
Sebelum ku terjaga kala fajar menampar semua mimpi
Dan menarikku kembali pada realita

-masih ada langit di Jakarta, Yudha-

(20 January 2008)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are in adequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
We were born to make manifest.
The glory of God that is within us.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others”

(by Marianne Williamson taken from the movie: Akeelah and the Bee)

mimpi

harap

lenyap melayang

musnah

menguap bersama peluh duka

letih asa
lunglai jiwa

tak mau lagi menjadi pemimpi
karena impian cuma sebongkah semu

...hhhh...